


Love Me Like You Do

by EnobyQuest (Ymir14)



Category: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Anal Sex, Deliberate Badfic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:48:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4632729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ymir14/pseuds/EnobyQuest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lyrically fateful encounter at a coffee shop.</p>
<p>((This entire fic is in rhyming couplet. You have been warned.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me Like You Do

**Author's Note:**

> I physically had to stop writing this a lot of times because I was laughing too hard. Enjoy.

There was a glorious barista up at the counter there,  
So in awe of so much majesty Zant couldn’t help but stare.

His hair was like fire, slicked back against his head,  
coiffed so, akin to Elder Scrolls: Oblivion.

He stumbled to the counter, words all a fluster,  
“I’ll have a peach tea with those caramel clusters.”

The thick muscled man wrote “Ugly” as Zant’s name,  
And waved him off to the side counter drink claim.

Yet Zant had to know more, just as his heart demanded,  
But as he walked up for more on his face he landed.

Or so should have happened, to any wandering eye,  
A corded arm flew out, and caught his body on the fly.

“What is your name?” a gruff voice asked Zant,  
Yet lost in fantasy, he lost his pants.

“Are you going to sue?” He asked again,  
Zant swooned, and said, “Not if you meet me at ten.”

So pantless Zant left, to prepare for a date,  
Tea at the counter, so he could concentrate.

Ganondorf couldn’t believe what fortune befell him,  
One undried floor, plus a date with some gremlin.

Of course his friends had been trying to get him back in the game,  
After what great discourse happened with his old romantic flame.

The more he thought, the more he liked the idea,  
Even if the john was the human IKEA.

Finishing his shift, he wondered if he lost his mind,  
But if he tried to bail now, he’d be stuck in a bind.

Ugly had pulled up with a flashy Toyota,  
And if it was lame he did not care an iota.

Ganondorf clambered in, head bumping the ceiling,  
Zant was near worshipping him, should’ve been kneeling.

He really doubted anyone would see him as a catch,  
Yet this strange little man was sure he was his match.

They had pulled up somewhere fancy, Zant dressed to the nines,  
Ganondorf, in the car, left his green apron behind.

They split the breadsticks and Zant wanted a drink,  
Yet Ganondorf feared that his hopes would sink.

Zant was polite, if a little annoying,  
Somehow the atmosphere divinely cloying.

Half the night in and Zant really didn’t seem half bad,  
Surprising and half drunk, the world seemed less drab.

He forgot about sadness and heartbreak and woe,  
This date was surprising, tender and slow.

Ganondorf learned Zant was a businessman, only here for some time,  
And decided, what the hell; “I’ll take him to cloud nine.”

Zant brought up his oyster dish, was apparently an aphrodisiac,  
Ganondorf decided how he’d show this nerd where life was really at.

Once they got to Zant’s car, Ganondorf grabbed him by the collar,  
Zant looked uncertain, in fear of Ganondorf’s power.

He pulled him off the ground, and while Zant was rattled,  
He leaned in first to lock their lips in a battle.

They kissed passionately, Ganondorf’s hand on Zant’s crotch,  
He was lost in a tizzy, but wanted to kick it up a notch.

Zant put his hand in his pants to find the crown of Ganondorf’s manhood,  
Ganondorf squeezed his buns like they were the coffee shop’s baked goods.

The passion between them was thick enough to cut with a knife,  
Ganondorf wanted to go ahead however uncertain the night.

They separated reluctantly, to climb in the car,  
Moving desperately like they had met in a bar.

Zant drove back to the hotel and the larger man questioned his choices,  
Was this really the right way to quiet the lonely voices?

Yet he looked over at the tiny man, focused on the road,  
Thought about the relationship seed he had sowed.

Perhaps this was lightening up, or letting go of the past,  
The mulleted man knew this tipsy peace wouldn’t last.

“Is this just for a night?” He asked in a voice deep and gruff.  
Zant’s almond eyes glinted, “I don’t think that will be enough.”

Dialogue understood and all fears being sated,  
He wonders if this is what it meant to be dated.

Once in the elevator, Ganondorf forced him against the wall,  
Pulled down the smaller’s bottoms, underwear and all.

As the room sped up, he murmured: “Make me a man.”  
Somehow the giant was happy this wasn’t a one night stand.

Once in the room, he had undressed slowly,  
But Zant only looked on, grinning knowingly.

“Do you want some time?” Fingertips ghosted over his arm,  
Ganondorf sighed, feeling a little too worn.

Taking a moment, he told Zant he was a rebound,  
Yet Zant just listened, and didn’t make a sound.

“It’s okay, if you want to stop.” He knew Ugly was trying,  
And the larger didn’t admit to himself that he was crying.

He kept the ball rolling after that pause,  
Kissing him intimately, now with a cause.

The night then went perfect, though one big and one bony,  
Zant enjoyed himself, riding the bologna pony.

Ganondorf was assured, with renewed self esteem,  
How smoothly they worked was the American dream.

When they were both spent, Ganondorf lying beneath Zant,  
The two tried to sleep, yet discovered they can’t.

The duo laughed and chatted and talked until dawn,  
Ganondorf fearing he’d have to work, and relieved he was wrong.

They lay together, unconcerned with what the day would hold,  
The taller had added his number, acting like he found gold.

Goodbyes were in order, as Zant left for California,  
The only relief were in the words: “I’ll phone ya.”

Whispered at the airport at the end of the week,  
Ganondorf finally had a promise he’d keep.


End file.
